


you were beautiful

by starshipz



Category: Cravity (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M, light mentions of depression, musical actor woobin, violin prodigy serim
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-09
Updated: 2020-11-09
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:04:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27470113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starshipz/pseuds/starshipz
Summary: there are some things that you only notice when they’re already gone. it’s the same as the violin prodigy and the musical actor who lost themselves into music, realizing everything when it’s already too late.
Relationships: Park Serim/Seo Woobin
Kudos: 28





	you were beautiful

**Author's Note:**

> hey i'm back with another angst hehe. have been working for two months for this fic so i'll really appreciate your feedbacks though im not sure if it's likeable lol. the fanmeet happened midway when i was writing and this didn't have a title back then so i decided to choose the title from one of the unit performances!!
> 
> i apologize if there are typos and mistakes. i already proofread it but the accuracy isn't still assured.
> 
> enjoy <3

_what happened? how did this happen? why did it have to come to this?_

  
  


these are just a few of serim’s hundreds of questions.

  
  


the sound of nothing but serim’s tapping of his fingers against the smooth and cold violin echoed and filled the dim room. it wasn’t new. he loves - had loved the violin ever since he was a kid. 

  
  


it started when he watched a violin recital in person and begged his parents to buy him one. his parents made a deal with him ; _do well in your exam and your wish is our command._ little serim had never studied and prepared for an exam before but because of his curiosity and interest towards the peculiar but attention catching instrument, the 9 year old boy did his best.

  
  


never had he thought he’d grew to love playing it this much. his dad, who was a former violinist himself, trained his son personally. his parents never had the greed in making their son like his dad, but serim wanted it himself.

  
  


he found comfort from the instrument as if it made rhythm with his thin and slender fingers. it’s as if every time he’s playing it, he forgets about everything that is around him. it’s nothing but him and the instrument, making harmony.

  
  


but how? how did he have the violin as the thing he loved the most in the world, turn into a mere little instrument he despises?

  
  


it’s because of his boyfriend, seo woobin. the most well known musical actor in their country.

  
  


_////_

  
  


_it all started back in 2014. woobin was known to be one of the teacher’s pets, the smartest kid in school. as much as it sounds cliche, all he has ever done his whole life was to bury himself in books and papers and had pens and highlighters as his toys ever since he was a kid._

_contrary to what people see, he actually dreams to become a musical actor. he just happened to discover his love for singing during his cousin’s birthday party when he had no choice but to sing when he was forced in the karaoke. this only started as a liking to a simple hobby for him but it grew into an ambitious dream he never thought would be._

_but he kept it a secret as he didn’t want to add burden to his parents. his dad has been in a deep unconsciousness for 2 months now after an unfortunate accident that had occurred. his mother, who used to be a housewife, is now having multiple part time jobs in order to fund her husband’s hospital bills._

_woobin is a scholar thus having no expenses in school. he wants to help his mother in any way possible and so he’s doing his best to study, disregard his supposed dream and turn it into a state of unreality._

  
  


_“woobin! where are you going?”_

  
  


_woobin turns his head towards the owner of the voice. he couldn’t recognize who that is, probably because he never actually cared about anyone around him._

  
  
  


_“umm.. to the teacher’s office? our homeroom teacher called for me.”_

  
  
  


_before his classmate was about to answer back, he hurried his pace trying to avoid more questions. he doesn’t like to converse with other people except when it involves academics. besides, all he’s doing is to succeed and somewhat help his parents with their current status._

  
  


_as he’s walking towards his destination, an endearing sound caught his ears. the sound of a very unfamiliar melody struck, making him halt in his stance._

  
  


_the melody of a violin filled the hall across the office. woobin peeks through the glass window as he looks for the source of the music._

  
  


_there he saw someone who he has never seen before. or probably someone who has been in this school but he has never taken much attention for. he stares in awe, holding his books tight against his chest as he admires what’s in front of him. it's as if time has stopped._

  
  


_the boy is a little taller than him based on his observation. of course he had many good looking people who wanted to court him, but he had never seen someone as eye catching as him. the way the boy is closing his eyes, slightly swaying from side to side as he lets his thin fingers do their thing in making such melody just makes him feel things._

  
  


_it’s mostly because he has never seen someone who’s enjoying doing something like him before. he thinks, that must feel nice._

  
  


_it must feel so great to be able to do and enjoy what you want to._

  
  


_woobin snaps out of his trance when the boy suddenly stops playing and looks at the former’s direction. woobin’s eyes grew large as he made eye contact. he hurriedly turned his back as he attempts to quickly run away from the scene but his books fell down from his hands._

  
  


_he curses to himself. he hurriedly picks them up and just when he is about to walk away after standing up, he sees the boy in front of him, smiling._

  
  


_woobin probably didn’t notice how he’s staring too much before the boy cleared his throat, earning a startling movement from the former. the boy laughs as he puts his hand before woobin, the latter tilting his head with the other’s sudden action._

  
  
  


_“um hi i’m serim, a transfer student.”_

  
  
  


_woobin just stares at the hand in front of him as he unconsciously lets the name roll out of his mouth._

  
  
  


_“serim..” that’s a pretty name.._

  
  


_“yeah, serim. and you are?”_

  
  
  


_woobin shots his head back, making eye contact with the boy._

  
  


_“uh.. I’m.. woobin.”_

  
  


_serim nods as he smiles, “come on, shake hands with me. i’m kind of embarrassed now.”_

  
  
  


_woobin’s eyes grew as he slightly bows. he lightly grabs serim’s hand as the latter shakes it. it felt warm. or maybe it’s just because it’s the first time he’s had skinship in a long time._

  
  
  


_“did you like my performance back there?”_

  
  


_woobin scratches the back of his head, “uh.. yeah.. you were good.”_

  
  


_serim smiles, “that’s a relief.”_

  
  


_“don’t you know it yourself though? that you’re good?” surprisingly, woobin kept their conversation going unlike his usual self who can't even talk to his classmates._

  
  


_“i don’t actually. i’ve heard a lot of compliments from many people but i don’t really consider myself to be good enough to deserve those.”_

  
  
  


_woobin nods though he had many questions left._

  
  
  


_“i’m sorry, did i suddenly overshare?”_

  
  
  


_woobin shakes his head as he gestures a ‘no’ with his hands, earning a chuckle from serim._

  
  
  


_“well, then. i’ll go ahead and practice. i hope we’ll get closer soon.”_

  
  


_////_

  
  


their lives were so easy back then compared to what they are now. all they did was to study and have fun. not caring about commitments and unfulfilled promises. they grew closer, a lot closer than what they had expected. 

  
  


they officially became a couple when they were 17. they were young but they were in love. their love blossomed and continued until they graduated. both of them had successfully reached their dreams. serim as the violin prodigy, earning tons of invites in recitals even before he graduated and woobin, graduating as a music major as he earned approval from his mother to let his dream come true.

  
  


so where did it all go wrong?

  
  


woobin’s father had passed away. it caused a big impact in his life. many would expect him to temporarily pause the offers he received in musicals to have time to heal but he became more of a workaholic. instead of taking a break, he didn’t know what that word was. he didn’t know how to stop, even for a single day. he had always been locking himself up in his room, practicing all day and night.

  
  


they are living together as they decided to after graduating. after serim became a member of the country’s orchestra team, he had also become busy, locking himself in his studio in their shared apartment, practicing non stop. he just stopped being like this when his boyfriend’s dad passed away. he knew woobin needed someone, but his boyfriend showed zero care.

  
  


everything was so simple and beautiful before, but now..

  
  


serim can’t even remember the last time they talked to each other.

  
  


even shared a simple skinship. 

  
  


even just the two of them in the same room.

  
  


fame and money really caused a big impact in their lives.

  
  


serim had always tried to approach woobin but every time he does, all he gets is either dry responses or no response at all. serim undeniably misses woobin. he misses the frequent cuddles and kisses. he misses his sweet words and how his face would flush into bright red whenever serim succeeds to make him flabbergasted. he misses all the unplanned dates and sudden roadtrips.

  
  


woobin had barely any time for him. he’s also working during weekends and even if he’s free, he’d be too tired to do anything. during those times that serim is also drained from his recitals, all he felt was them being mere roommates rather than boyfriends.

  
  


serim has tried a lot, probably countless of times to persuade his boyfriend. everytime he would tell him he’s working too hard and that he needs rest, all woobin would say is for serim to leave him alone as he could not concentrate and that he has an important musical coming. woobin grew greedy. he had never felt the satisfaction though receiving never ending compliments from his colleagues and even his higher ups. 

  
  


serim had noticed how woobin has started to lose himself into music.

  
  


in fact, woobin grew sensitive. he has done nothing but to disagree with every single thing serim said. when his boyfriend consoles him, tells him that he’s doing okay, he’d get angrier and would make him get out of his studio.

  
  


their communication got worse. it was as if they were both strangers who were forced to live in the same house.

  
  


as if serim never knew who woobin was.

  
  


serim sighs as he grabs his violin. he purposely left his room and went into the living room to play it so that he can somehow get the attention of the person he misses so much.

  
  


he lets his slender hands do their thing as the instrument’s sound fills the entire room. his hands were skillfully dancing with the rhythm, pressing the strings precisely as it made a beautiful yet sad melody.

  
  


he expected it. he expected his boyfriend to loudly open the door of his studio and stare at him with his fiery eyes. but he knows himself that he’d rather see him like this than not.

  
  


it’s been 2 days since their last encounter and serim wants to stand in front of him and give him an embrace.

  
  


“don’t you have your own studio? what are you doing here in the living room? i have an important song to practice, can’t you be a little sensitive?”

  
  


serim sighs as he puts his violin inside of its case. he stands up as he walks towards the other, still maintaining a decent gap between them.

  
  


those eyes.. how did those eyes become so empty?

  
  
  


“woobin, i want to say something.”

  
  


“i don’t have time.”

  
  


“when did you even have time for me?”

  
  
  


woobin sighs loudly as he crosses his arms against his chest.

  
  
  


serim continues, “let’s go on a vacation. you and me after your musical. just like the old days, let’s just-”

  
  


“i can’t,” woobin cuts him off. “i have practices and rehearsals.”

  
  


“that’s why i said we’re doing it after your musical.”

  
  


“i said i’m busy. i still have something to do after that.”

  
  
  


serim takes a few steps closer, “you’ve been working too hard, woobin. please. just a few days of vacation. i promise i won’t bother you-”

  
  


“what’s so difficult about understanding that i’m busy? i can take care of myself.”

  
  


“you look like you don’t know how either.”

  
  


woobin furrows his eyebrows as he sighs in disbelief, “i can. you don’t have to care.”

  
  
  


that’s when serim snaps. 

  
  
  


“what do you mean i don’t have to care? i am your boyfriend!”

  
  


“then do me a favor and stop demanding! it’s annoying and it takes up my precious time that i could’ve just used for practicing.”

  
  


serim feels his anger rush inside of him. he grits his teeth, “annoying?! i just want the best for you!”

  
  


“for goodness sake please stop whining. i’m doing this for us.” woobin sternly says as he avoids eye contact.

  
  


“for us? or is it only for you? huh? all this time, all i ever did was to endure your coldness towards me even though i have been nothing but an understanding boyfriend to you! i have never even demanded anything from you..”

  
  
  


it was silent. only serim’s breath was heard as he caught it. 

  
  
  


woobin scoffs, “are you done?”

  
  


serim looks at him as tears are threatening to fall from his orbs, “w-what?”

  
  


“i said, are you done? i have no time for this.”

  
  


“exactly! you never had time for me!” serim screamed. it hurt. it hurt how all he ever did was to care about the person he wanted to protect the most.

  
  


“are you a child? do you need attention? have you always been this childish?”

  
  
  


that was serim’s last blow before he stormed inside of his room. woobin only watched him from his door. he saw him, holding a luggage.

  
  


woobin hisses as he eyes his boyfriend in anger, "you’ve completely ruined my mood and now you’re being dramatic? where do you think you’re going?”

  
  


“anywhere but here. i’m tired of this. i’m tired of everything.”

  
  


“go on, then. run away like the coward you are, serim.”

  
  
  


serim squints his eyes as tears fell from them. 

  
  
  


“you’ve changed, woobin. you’re not the same person i’ve loved 7 years ago.”

  
  


serim walks away and just when he is about to grab the doorknob, he hears the other say something.

  
  
  


“your violin, are you going to leave it?”

  
  
  
  


serim, unknowingly walks to the sofa where his violin case was placed. he grabs and opens it as he holds the violin. he raises it above his head and smashes it down, the sound of crashing wood echoing through the whole room.

  
  


woobin knows serim loved that violin more than anything in this world. it was his first ever violin. and so his eyes grew slightly big, almost noticeable by the other though he never cared to look anyways.

  
  


“i don’t care anymore, okay? you did this, woobin. you made me hate that mere violin. you made me hate myself. you ruined me. you ruined everything.”

  
  
  


he storms out of the apartment, wiping his never ending tears. 

  
  


everything was so perfect before. woobin was the man of his dreams. he got him, loved him more than he had ever had before.

  
  


but maybe he really is the man of his dreams because he could only dream to be with him for a lifetime. 

  
  
  


////

  
  


_class just ended and the students hurriedly packed their bags, not even hearing out their teacher’s last words as they dash to the door, exiting the very hell of a room. woobin sighs, though he also despises the professors’ naggings and unending unnecessary lessons that you won’t even need when you become an adult, he still knows that one must respect each other, regardless of their treatment of you._

  
  


_he waits for the swarm of students by the door to finally disappear before standing up from his seat. he walks towards the door but he halts as he sees a very familiar boy in front of him._

  
  


_“woobin, right?”_

  
  


_there he sees serim, the kid he watched perform the week before. of course, he couldn’t forget the boy’s name._

  
  


_“yeah. what’s wrong?”_

_“uhm well..” serim stops as he scratches the back of his head while he avoids eye contact. he continues, “about the chemistry lesson we had.. i didn’t understand it..”_

_knowing what serim meant, woobin nods._

  
  


_“i understand. you’re still new here and adjusting must be difficult for you. do you want me to teach you?”_

_serim’s eyes grew big as it glistened, staring at the other’s brown orbs. he smiles and woobin swears he felt something foreign when he saw his eyesmile as his perfectly made teeth showed with his smile lines. God surely took time in making him._

  
  


_“really? you’d do that?”_

  
  


_woobin snaps out as he nods quickly._

  
  


_“i was actually contemplating whether to ask you to help me because you might be busy.”_

  
  


_“i’m not, don’t worry. where do you want to do it?”_

  
  


….

  
  


_“you know you actually don’t need to treat me…”_

  
  


_“what do you mean? you helped me with chemistry and i should give something back don’t you think?”_

  
  


_woobin looks down as he plays with his fingers under the table. “still..”_

  
  


_serim just stares at the other, eyes admiring his embarrassed face which is flushed with pink. he chuckles. “say, if you really feel guilty..”_

  
  


_woobin looks up as he matches serim’s stare. he waits for the latter’s continuation as he perks his ears up._

_“let’s do this again next time but you’re treating us.”_

  
  


_“what?”_

  
  


_“let’s eat dinner again next time. together.”_

  
  
  


////

  
  
  


it has been months since serim left the apartment. woobin would be lying if he’ll say the spacious place didn’t feel any different from before. it was originally grandiose but, it felt much bigger.. and emptier now that he’s the only one left. 

  
  


the melody of the violin filled the dim room. contrasting to the impeccably emotional violin sound, the room still felt cold. woobin is sitting on the couch, eyes focused on the violinist who's playing one of the hardest violin pieces ever on tv. 

the clip was rather an old one, back when they were 19 years old. it was serim’s first recital but he already mastered a difficult piece by heart. woobin was one of the audiences and in fact, he was sitting on one of the first row seats. his boyfriend had spare tickets just enough for both of his parents and woobin. 

  
  


he still felt the same chills he had back then. there were instruments that accompanied the petite bow instrument but the prodigy made everyone look at him and him only. the sound he was making was pleasant to everyone’s ears. everything beside him became blurred. his eyes were sparkling with joy as his fingers danced swiftly and precisely as they played with the strings. 

woobin knew that park serim is the most beautiful when he plays the violin.

  
  


the sound of someone pressing in the apartment’s door passcode took him out of his trance. he sat up straight, locating the remote control and once he found it, he turned the tv off, just before his manager slash best friend saw what he was watching. or that’s what he thought.

  
  


“you’re still watching that?”

  
  


woobin doesn’t respond, instead he avoids eye contact.

  
  


“that’s why i told you countless times to contact him and apologize. you already know you’re at fault.”

  
  


“yeah yeah jungmo you’re really making me feel better huh?” woobin responds sarcastically, earning an eye roll from the other. jungmo marched towards the sofa and sat beside woobin, letting himself sink in the soft mattress. jungmo has always been going in woobin’s apartment ever since serim left. he knew his bestfriend needed companion, not to mention he also needs to be by his side always since woobin’s career is at its peak.

  
  
  


“are you okay though? do you want me to cancel your schedule today?”

  
  


woobin eyes him, “no of course not. we should go now, we’re gonna be late.”

  
  


they both stood up but jungmo’s phone rang. he opened it, as he read the message. his eyes squinted and his eyebrows furrowed.

  
  


“is everything alright?”

  
  


jungmo blinks as he stares back at woobin. he turns his phone off before nodding, “yeah it’s nothing.”

“are you sure? i can just drive myself to the venue. just give me the car keys.”

jungmo looks at woobin with his apologetic eyes. just before he was about to protest, woobin snatches the keys from his hands as he waves them in front of the latter. jungmo sighs, “fine. just be careful, okay? i’ll take a taxi instead.”

“i will.”

  
  
  


//a few days after//

  
  


serim just finished packing up his violin just after he fixes his tie in front of the mirror. he once again approaches the mirror as he sternly looks at his outfit, eyes trailing up until he meets the reflection of them. he might have gone through countless of recitals but every single one of them makes him agitated. he still feels nervous as if it is his first time. he envies people who don’t get nervous after having many experiences. he would practice a lot everyday for weeks but his heart would never fail to betray him on the day he’ll perform.

it’s not that he’s not confident, he’s just scared of people’s reactions. 

he’s scared of people.

that’s why he understood woobin for years. he understood why woobin felt unsatisfied no matter how much he had worked hard. he understood woobin’s tantrums and unnecessary scoldings. 

in fact, he should be the one who understands woobin the most. what a hypocrite.

he looks at his wrist, the silver half-moon bracelet dangling freely from it. it was woobin’s birthday gift to him when they were 18. he has never removed it from his proximity ever since.

he had always thought of hiding it, even throwing it away but he knows he won’t grow into a better person if he was to avoid everything that reminds him of woobin.

he loved woobin, maybe he still loves him. he couldn’t just declare the former if he has never seen the man for months. 

but more than that, woobin has hurt him the most. 

sometimes it’s better to let go of the rose because no matter how beautiful it is, you’re the one who’s hurting, bleeding because of its thorns.

he had thought of regrets, but maybe it’s for the best.

  
  


he sighs, “it’s for the best, serim. look at you.”

he looks at his reflection once again, “you’ve achieved so much within the few months. your career has never soared this high before. you’ve been amazing. everyone is cheering for you. you’ve been happier…”

his shoulders dropped as he stared at his eyes. there were a few seconds that had passed before he looked at his wristwatch. he exits his room when he realizes he’s almost running late.

“wonjin, how many times do i have to tell you to turn the tv off when you’re not watching? you’re just playing games on your phone.”

serim clicks his tongue with the scene of his younger brother.

“hyung, i already told you that i feel restless when it’s too quiet. i just want a bit of noise even if i don’t really listen to it.” he responds, eyes still fixed on his phone.

the older sighs in defeat, “fine, just don’t forget to turn it off when you’re done.”

the other doesn’t respond but he raises one of his hands for a second, putting up a thumbs up. serim chuckles, looking once again at his wristwatch as he marches out of the house. he eyes his violin case as he whispers to himself,

_“it’s for the better, serim. it’s for the better.”_

  
  


what serim didn’t hear was the news from the tv his oblivious brother turned on. Just exactly when he stepped out of the house.

  
  
  


_“famous musical actor seo woobin, was found in a car accident a few days ago. further information will be released once the investigation is concluded. for now, there are no personal updates given as the family wanted privacy.”_

  
  
  


_////_

  
  


_“his condition is stable as of now. everything’s fine, just..”_

all woobin could hear were faint talks and sounds of unknown machines beside him. he couldn’t open his eyes. all he could see was black, total darkness. _he surely attempted to open them numerous times but why… can he not see anything?_

_“except for his eyes.”_

there’s a sigh, probably from someone beside him. maybe jungmo? he knows that sigh was familiar but he’s too worn out to think further. he couldn't even remember what happened before he became like this. despite hearing everything, he couldn’t understand a thing. he couldn’t decipher what the person meant. 

_what’s wrong?_

_what happened?_

_why can’t i see anything?_

_“there wasn’t any serious injury besides the wound on his head. the impact on it was strong and it has damaged his optic nerve.”_

  
  


_no...._

  
  


_“there’s still a chance, right? his vision will still go back, right? doctor?”_

  
  


_“the chance is less than 2%. if we’re going to be realistic, i don’t think he will.”_

  
  


jungmo heaves a sigh as he rubs his face with his shaky, bare hands. 

  
  


_“this is my fault.. woobin.. he can’t just live his life in complete darkness..”_ jungmo breathes in sharply as he clenches his fists. 

  
  


no matter how many times woobin tried to fight and use all of his strength to move a limb, he couldn’t. he couldn’t do anything. everything was black. he couldn’t see even a bit of light. tears fell from his closed eyes which was not noticed by his acquaintance because of his constant self-blaming.

  
  


_that can’t be.._

  
  


_////_

  
  


it was difficult for woobin to accept his reality. it has been days since the accident, days since his life has changed into something worse. he thought he’d accept it after time but he still feels the same. he’s hurt, he’s angry, he’s blaming himself. he’s in terrible pain as no matter how many times he denies it to himself, it has really happened to him.

he’s blind and he couldn’t even see even a bit of light. he remembered what the doctor said about his chances of regaining his eyesight back is near impossible. he’s still hoping it would come back. he’s holding onto the smallest piece of hope. 

his life turned upside down in a split second. maybe if he slept just a bit more… he wouldn’t have been too tired to drive. still, he was thankful that no one but him got hurt. if someone else has gotten hurt, he wouldn’t forgive himself.

  
  


“woobin.. i brought your favorite dumplings..”

woobin takes a breath in, smelling the fragrant scent by his side. he weakly nods in response and then it is silent. he feels the awkward silence between them. he smiles as he tries to face jungmo though he’s probably looking in the wrong direction. 

“i already told you to stop blaming yourself. it wasn’t your fault, jungmo. in fact, it was mine. i was careless.”

  
  


jungmo sighs as he runs his hand through his hair, “i shouldn't have left.. i’m so sorry.. i really am.”

  
  
  
  
  
  


no matter how many times jungmo had apologized, woobin never thought of blaming him. it has been months, years since the incident and nothing has changed. he still sees pitch black, nothing else. jungmo has always been by his side. not as his manager, but as his only friend. his mom was nowhere to be found even when he got into the accident. he didn’t attempt to find her knowing he’d be a bigger burden.

the only thing that had changed was his career. what once was soaring, unreachable is now shattered and gone. his disability had become the only hindrance from his one dream and so he hated himself. 

jungmo has never seen him smile for years. he had never even gotten out of his apartment for god knows since. in fact, he never spoke except when he needed to. it was like the old woobin was back.

woobin has fallen into depression. and jungmo had witnessed it all.

  
  


_…._

_“woobin-ah, have you eaten?”_

  
  


_“woobin, i didn’t see you during lunch. aren’t you hungry?”_

  
  


_“woobin! do you want me to help you?”_

  
  
  
  


_“woobin! where are you going?”_

  
  


_“umm.. to the teacher’s office? our homeroom teacher called for me.”_

  
  


_jungmo flashed a smile. that’s the first time woobin had responded to him properly. normally it would be a nod, a shake of his head or just a simple shrug. he noticed how woobin was uncomfortable and so he let him walk away. it’s fine, as long as he got a response, it’s okay._

_jungmo stares at the figure walking out of the scene. he unknowingly follows him as he also stops on his tracks when the former does. he pauses as he admires woobin’s concentrating side profile. as if something had caught his attention._

_he has always been admiring woobin from afar and this is just like any other circumstance._

_he sees woobin drop his books and just when he’s about to run and help him, he had already finished picking them up. also, an unfamiliar student went in front of him and so he stopped on his tracks._

_what he had observed is how woobin was actually talking and responding to the unfamiliar boy._

_and he also observed how the both of them got closer after time. he knew he had no match against serim knowing he’s amazing in everything he does._

_he was there looking from afar when the both of them met for the first time._

_he was also there to see how they became close._

_and he was also there to witness how they officially became a couple._

_good for them, he thinks. it’s fine if it’s not with him but seeing what once was dull and frank woobin transformed into a man he had not expected him to be is enough for him to feel butterflies in his stomach._

  
  


_…._

after a few years of separating, they both crossed paths coincidentally when jungmo became his manager. they grew close but jungmo knew his boundaries. he knew to never cross the line knowing he still has lingering feelings left. 

  
  


if serim was his warming comfort in the cold, jungmo was his shoulder to lean on when life was too much to bear on his own.

  
  


if serim was his guiding light in the darkness, jungmo was his rainbow after the darkness caused by the storm.

  
  


it’s safe to say jungmo has been there since the beginning but woobin had not noticed it.

  
  


he had witnessed him at his lowest, and still thought he was the greatest.

  
  
  


“woobin-ah, what do you want to eat for dinner?”

  
  


“anything will do.”

  
  


jungmo sighs internally, it’s like every other conversation they had. he couldn’t even consider it as a proper conversation. 

  
  


“okay, i’m going to buy us something outside. i’ll be back, okay?”

  
  


woobin replies with a hum as he remains seated, still listening to some music from his right earbud.

  
  
  


while on his way to his car, jungmo scrolled upon an article on his phone. he stopped on his tracks, reading it over and over again.

  
  


_famous violin prodigy, park serim has announced his return in our country_

_after 5 years of staying abroad upon his sky-rocketing career._

_he has also stated that he’ll be having a concert next month_

_to celebrate his return._

  
  
  


no matter how many times he’ll deny it, the only solution is still him. it has always been serim and serim only. the only reason woobin had smiled before and probably the only reason he’ll smile once again.

jungmo chuckles to himself. it has always been like this.

whenever woobin’s world falls apart like pieces of glass from a broken porcelain vase, all jungmo could do was to fix it with his bare hands, ignoring the cuts and scars it caused him just so woobin will be whole again.

  
  
  
  


_////_

  
  
  


“son! it has been a while! how have you been?” 

serim flashes a smile as both of his parents approached him. it really has been a while since he has been gone home. he’s been out of the country for almost 3 years because of his career and seeing his parents who had been nothing but very supportive of his dream has drained out his tiredness. 

his mom gives him an embrace while his dad gives him a fist bump just like the good old days. “it has been hectic but fun.”

“oh are you going to cry? i thought we talked about not crying once we see our son?” his dad teases his mom which his ms. park just replies with a nudge. serim laughs.

“come on mom, i thought you were glad to see me? why are you crying? should i just go back there?”

“silly you! nothing really has changed. you’re still a brat.” the woman says as he playfully smacks serim’s head, the latter pretends it hurt, caressing it.

“son, i heard you’re going to have a concert here.”

“ah yes, i have something to give you both.”

his parents look at him with anticipation in their eyes. serim rummages through his bag, grabbing three tickets from it.

“here, spare tickets for it.”

mrs. park’s eyes sparkled as she grabs them with his hands. 

“i told you we can just buy it ourselves.”

“aye, i wasn’t raised to let you both pay. besides, you have done so much for me already.”

it’s true. if there’s someone who he’s most thankful for, it is both of his parents. they have never been manipulative of him and just supported everything he wanted. by that, they hadn’t forgotten to communicate with him when he was away. that was when serim thought having his parents was more than enough. 

the woman’s eyebrows furrowed, “why are these three though? are you supposed to give this to woobin? tell him he should go with us, just like before. it has also been a while since i last saw him.”

serim blinks as he stares at the tickets.

_ah, it has been a habit for him to reserve three tickets._

_he even forgot he didn’t need to do it anymore._

  
  


“ah... no need. i did it on purpose in case you have someone to invite. by the way, i’m going to be performing the exact piece i played on my first recital.” he says, trying to divert his parents’ attention as he still didn’t tell them they were over 2 years ago and had not heard of him since.

  
  


“oh really? that’s great. that would be a great memory then. i’m looking forward to it!”

“you flatter me so much, mom.” serim replies as he scratches the back of his head in embarrassment.

“why not? you’re park serim. the most famous and successful violinist in the country. probably even in the whole world!” his dad declares with his proud smile and sincere eyes evident from the frame of his eyeglasses.

“enough, enough. let’s let him take a rest. it must’ve been tiring to travel 13 hours stragiht.”

“yeah, you’re right. i should probably head now.”

serim smiles before he walks past his parents, going through the hallways of their enormous house. he sighs, reminiscing about something he should’ve forgotten years ago. he just couldn’t help but to wonder how he has been even though he had hurt him the most.

because the pain won’t change the fact that he had loved him before. he had loved seo woobin.

how is woobin doing?

  
  


_“he must be doing better without me.”_

  
  


_////_

  
  


_“The voice I long for even in my dreams_

_I call out the name but there’s no answer.”_

this has been woobin’s comfort song. there was never a day that he didn’t listen to this. he holds it close to his dear heart, especially as he’s holding a very significant memory with it.

  
  


he closes his eyes, seeing the same darkness he’s seen even with opened eyes as he lets himself get lost in the sad melody. 

  
  


“Only the tearful echo returns

And I listen to that sound by myself”

before, he wasn’t by himself. in fact, he had someone. he had someone he shared that certain memory with.

  
  
  


_////_

  
  


_“is the music room your new library? i’ve noticed you’ve been studying here instead.”_

_woobin places his index finger in front of his plumped lips as he playfully signals a shush._

_“i feel more comfortable here. besides, your violin makes the ambiance more… calm?”_

_serim places his violin by the other side of his seat. he faces woobin who’s seated on a sofa around 3 meters away from him._

_“it’s not fair that you’re the only one who feels calm here.”_

_woobin lowers his book just enough to look at the sulking serim._

_“what do you want me to do?”_

_serim pauses for a while as he scans the whole room._

_“can you play anything here?”_

_woobin does the same as he looks around, eyes landing on a specific instrument._

_“i guess i can play a bit of the keyboard?”_

_woobin doesn’t spare a glance at the other as he strides towards the keyboard. he didn’t lie as he actually knows how to play it. not that much for him to let everyone know about it._

_serim stands up and follows the sound of woobin’s fingers doing its job as he presses the keys swiftly. serim was surprised with the way woobin was playing the piano. as an instrument player himself, woobin undeniably had the talent as he had judged._

_but what took him aback more was when woobin started opening his mouth as he sang with the melody, he himself didn’t know he was doing it._

**_“Through the night that was endlessly long and thick and dark_ **

**_I know your wish has silently disappeared”_ **

_serim knew what this song was in an instant. he almost quickly ran back to get his violin, as he attempted to match woobin’s soulful voice and music._

**_“I’ll wait for a long time, I will definitely find you”_ **

_now they’re both just making a very pleasing melody as if they have done this before. the sound of the piano blended well with serim’s outstanding violin sound. on top of that, woobin’s heaven-like voice._

_serim was concentrating on playing his instrument but he just couldn’t help but to perk his ears up to listen to the very sweet voice of the person he’s with. he had never heard such beauty before._

  
  


**_“Even if you’re so far that I can’t see you_ **

**_Let’s go, to the place at the tip of dawn”_ **

_there was a moment of silence, just the sound of calmness surrounding and filling the whole room. serim was left speechless and so was the other yet the former decided to break the ice._

_“even if the way you played the piano was amazing, your voice is the thing that keeps on lingering in my mind. you have the talent, woobin. has anyone ever said that to you before?”_

_woobin blushes, though not that much for serim to notice it. he slowly shakes his head as he avoids eye contact._

_“no one has heard me sing like this before..”_

_“what? if i had that voice i would literally sing my heart out all day long and let everyone know i have a beautiful voice.”_

_“stop it.. you’re too much.”_

_serim sits down by woobin’s side - almost too near, just a small space in between them._

_“i’m not lying. you’re really amazing, woobin. imagine being the top student of the whole school yet having a hidden talent like this.”_

_woobin finally looks back, eyes almost watering with the succession of compliments. he has never heard anything so genuine before._

_“thank you..”_

_serim smiles as he pats woobin’s back, “and i’m not letting you waste that talent like that. it’s too great to be wasted and i’m up for it.”_

  
  


_////_

  
  


it’s the same song that they first performed together. the same exact song that made woobin the person he is now. 

or it was serim who kept pushing him to chase what he dreamt of.

it is a sad song but he had someone back then to complete the missing piece. but now he’s all alone, and the darkness all over him is making it much worse.

_after 2 years of enduring everything, a tear finally escapes his eye._

  
  


_…._

  
  


“woobin-ah, let’s go out tomorrow, hmm?”

“what’s the event?”

jungmo sits beside him as he stares at the two tickets he’s holding. 

“just a concert of my favorite artist. i want you to go out too because it has been a while since you did,” he lied. it was actually a concert of someone they know. 

know too much to be exact.

with jungmo’s fast paced heart, he waits for a reply. 

“okay, i’ll go.”

jungmo smiles, almost half-heartedly.

is it even possible to have the broken pieces of your heart being assembled but at the same time, getting more broken? because that’s what jungmo is feeling now.

even if he’s not the reason why woobin smiles, he’s the person who wants to protect his smile the most.

even if time passes, he just lets his feelings swallow in his heart. 

for the sake of woobin’s happiness, he’s ready to let his own taken away.

  
  


////

maybe it’s because it has been a long time since he has been in his home country. or maybe it has just been a tad while since he has performed in front of his parents. serim feels extra nervous compared to his overseas recitals. 

he looks at himself once again in front of the mirror, dusting away the almost non-existing dust on his suit as a way of coping up with his trembling and racing heart. he sighs.

“serim? 5 minutes until you’re going up to stage. be ready, alright?” one of the staff members says which serim responds with a slight nod.

_it’s gonna be fine. it’s gonna be like every other performance he has done._

_or maybe it isn’t._

  
  


_…_

  
  


maybe it’s the way the ambiance of the place felt familiar, or maybe it’s just because he has never gone out of his apartment for a long time but woobin feels unknowingly restless. him and jungmo are sitting on soft chairs which he had assumed of this concert to be special and fancy. when they were settled, he slightly faced his body towards his companion.

“hey.. jungmo.. i just realized something..”

jungmo looks back at him, “what is it?”

“you haven’t told me who the artist is.”

jungmo looks away as he eyes the red and grandiose curtains slowly being lifted up. he looks back at woobin, “it’s starting. you’ll.. you’ll find out either way.”

woobin’s eyebrows furrow with his friend’s reply. why couldn’t he just say it?

steps were heard and that was the cue for woobin to sit up straight and just let the performer do their thing.

_or maybe.._

the sound.. the first note sent chills down to woobin’s whole system. 

_“no.. this couldn’t be..”_

_“but.. i know this.. i can’t be wrong..”_

there it goes, the very familiar melody was ringing inside of woobin’s ears. just like the very first time he had ever heard of it.

  
  


_////_

  
  


_“stop being a baby. you can do it. you’ve been practicing a lot, i’m sure you’ll nail it off!” woobin says as he tries to pat his best friend's back. no matter how confident and right serim looks on normal stages, this is his first ever recital and he understands why he’s been restless since last night._

_“i don’t know.. woobin i don’t think i can do it.. should i just back out?”_

_“no one’s backing out. hey, calm down.”_

_serim who has been looking on the floor, finally looks at woobin with his almost teary eyes. woobin gives him a reassuring look, “remember what you said to me before? you’re not letting me waste my talent? i’m doing the same to you.”_

_woobin walks towards the table where serim’s violin is on. he walks back and he hands it to the owner, the latter still staring at the other._

_“you’re gonna do great, i know you will.”_

_serim nods shakingly which makes woobin give up from holding himself back to what he has wanted to do since minutes ago. he pulls serim closer as he traps him with his warm embrace, circling comforting strokes on his back._

_“you’ll be fine. you’re serim, what can you not do?”_

  
  


_////_

maybe that’s why serim is still feeling nervous even when he’s already on stage, playing his violin skillfully. he didn’t receive any warmth which had always been giving him comfort whenever he felt nervous.

woobin listens. his heart does too.

he knows it’s him. he knows it’s serim.

his hands are shaking which jungmo notices. the latter holds it, to give warmth to the other.

“j-jungmo i-”

“i know. i know. it’s okay. i know you’ve wanted to hear him again.”

jungmo smiles as he holds the hands of the person he has adored since the beginning tightly. he smiles, almost forced as it was contrasting to his pained heart. it’s ironic how he’s giving warmth to woobin, who has been used to giving warmth to a different man before.

woobin continued listening and when serim stopped playing, a hot tear fell from his eye.

he didn’t know the violinist also did the same on stage.

  
  


_…._

  
  


the recital ended too soon than what they had expected. though they spent almost 2 hours inside the humongous concert hall, the time felt too short for the both of them. they are walking side by side with woobin slightly holding the sleeve of jungmo’s long sleeved shirt and a cane on his other hand. 

woobin stopped on his tracks and so did jungmo. the latter faces him and the other just looks down. when woobin didn’t start to speak, jungmo decided to do it first as he owed him an explanation or atleast a word.

“woobin-ah, i’m-”

“jungmo, i wanna go to the comfort room.”

jungmo blinks repetitively before he nods, “okay. let’s go then?”

woobin lets go of jungmo’s sleeve which the latter looks at. 

“i can go by myself.”

just when jungmo was about to protest, woobin had already started walking towards the direction they were going. jungmo felt uneasy, looking at his friend walking by himself yet he pulled himself back from stopping him as he maybe needed time for himself for a while.

he finds it funny how he’s been pulling himself back all these years and this time, it still hasn’t changed a bit.

  
  


woobin feels lost. he would be lying if he said he doesn’t feel nervous while being alone. besides, it has been a while since he had gone out of his apartment, moreover the first time he's been alone ever since his eyesight was taken away from him. 

a slight impact on his body was felt which he immediately bows down in apology.

“i’m sorry.”

he bowed for a few more times before he walked away but he felt a strong grip on his shoulder which made him stop on his tracks.

“wait, sorry? you should’ve been more careful.” the unnamed man says, still gripping hard on woobin’s shoulder. it was painful but he tried to put his apologetic expression on his face before bowing down again.

“i’m really sorry. i didn’t mean it, sir.”

the man waves his hand infront of woobin. when the latter didn’t spare him a glance, he figures out that he cannot see. he snorts.

“what’s a blind man doing here anyways? you should’ve stayed home. you’re just a nuisance to people around you.”

“i’m sorry sir. i really am.” he says, repeatedly as he ignores the pain he’s feeling inside.

“hey, what’s going on here?”

_that voice.._

woobin knows exactly whose voice that belongs to. 

serim walks in as he looks at the unknown man and back to woobin who faced his back immediately after realizing whose voice that was.

“you should know the basic etiquette of being a human. even if they’re disabled, doesn’t mean they’re less of a human. what you just did turned the tables around, making you the least of a person here.”

woobin walks away almost quickly, trying to avoid serim who still hasn’t figured out his identity. although he had walked out of the scene, he still heard everything he said.

that made him overwhelmed… and happy.. yet the thought of serim knowing his identity might change his stand especially after what woobin had done to him before.

  
  


the man apologizes as he walks away. serim, who had just realized he’s left alone, attempts to find the man. he sighs when he doesn't and so he just walks out of the scene like the others did.

on the way to the lobby, he finds someone who looks familiar. he smiles, approaching someone he knew back when they were in highschool.

“jungmo! long time no see.”

  
  


jungmo turns around as he hears the voice calling out for him. before serim and woobin became a thing when they were still in school and became the reason why woobin’s hurting, jungmo was serim’s friend. he puts aside his unnecessary yet valid thoughts for a while as he greets his friend back with a smile.

“oh, hey. you were great in there. you still have it in you.” jungmo replies as he pats serim’s back. the latter smiles.

“that’s good to hear. it’s a surprise to see you here though. I thought you have already forgotten about me. what brought you here?” 

jungmo freezes which he immediately brushed off as he mockingly smiles at the other. 

“ayee, of course i came here to see you perform. it has been a good while since i’ve seen you perform.” jungmo replies with a fast pacing heart as he hopes serim bought his reason.

“well, i’m thankful for that.”

jungmo heaves a sigh.

a short silence occurred between them just before serim decided to ask jungmo a question.

“by the way, how’s life for you?”

jungmo looks at him, “it’s fine. just the usual work, eat and sleep routine.”

_jungmo wished he had a decent sleep even once._

then he realizes the whole point of coming here. it’s for woobin to hear serim, and have the first step of them meeting each other again to happen. jungmo swallows the lump inside of his throat as he returns the question back to serim, except he had to say something at the end.

“how about you? how is it going with woobin?”

_no more holding back, if it’s for woobin, there’s no reason to hold back._

serim, almost quickly avoided eye contact. his mind was blank and then suddenly in a mess, all of the memories went by before his eyes in a flash as he clenched his fists. 

jungmo knew he had hit the button. the button he was hesitating to push but he did for the sake of the person he treasures so much. he gives serim a bit of time to calm down though the latter tried to hide it in him. 

serim finally unclenches his fists as he breathes out. he looks back at jungmo with a smile, which the latter knew was forced.

“we’re.. already over. two years ago before i left the country.”

jungmo mutters a soft ‘oh’ as he couldn’t think of any response on the spot. more than what he had expected, serim continues.

“it was a tough breakup so i really don’t like it when i hear his name..”

jungmo’s insides were in flames with serim’s words. sure he knows woobin was childish back then but what serim had just said made him infuriated, especially if he was to look at woobin’s situation.

_“how can he say that when he doesn’t even know what he’s going through now..”_

as if jungmo completely ignored serim’s last resorts, he had the initial reason of him bringing woobin here become his top priority, he speaks again.

“but have you heard of him since then? like his whereabouts and-”

“i haven’t and i don’t want to know.”

jungmo pauses in disbelief. he closes his eyes, inhaling a deep breath as he tries to remain calm. 

just when he was about to rage, there was someone who spoke first.

“jungmo?” 

jungmo’s heart stopped.

serim knows best who that voice belongs to. it was way too familiar and he’s the person who he wants to be in close proximity with the least.

he sees him nevertheless. his eyebrows furrowed, not in fury but in confusion. he quickly scanned the figure and noticed how he wasn’t looking at any of their eyes directly. the object he’s holding caught serim’s attention, his mouth agape when realization struck in him.

they both look at woobin, who’s hand which is holding onto his cane was shaking, the other hand wiping the tear that just came out from his eye.

  
  


_…._

  
  


_the crowd cheered and it was the first time woobin had felt such happiness. he looked at his side where serim was standing, holding his violin by his shoulder. he looked at him, with tears brimming in his eyes, attempting to fall from them._

_he really owes serim every happiness he had experienced._

_it was his first time performing and it was their school’s festival. serim was a fixed performer but he insisted woobin to perform with him. the latter refused a lot but the other was too persistent. at the end, woobin decided to go for it, which he’s thankful for doing._

_the walk backstage felt like he was in cloud 9. his tears started falling which he immediately wiped off, but serim caught him, the latter chuckling quietly._

_“are you crying?”_

_woobin looks away as he settles his hands by his side quickly, pretending he didn’t use them to wipe his tears._

_“no, i am not.”_

_“stop lying, i know you did.”_

_“a man should cry once in his life and that’s when you were born. i’m not crying, serim.” woobin replies as he looks back at the other sternly._

_“that’s not true.”_

_serim walks towards woobin’s side as he puts his arm around his shoulder and uses his other hand in counting._

_“one, you can cry if you’re happy.”_

_“two, you can cry if you fall or get injured.”_

_“lastly, you can cry if it already hurts. if it’s already too much. if you can’t do it already.”_

_woobin looks at him with his watery eyes. serim chuckles as he playfully pats woobin’s head._

_“so when it’s too hard, you should know i’m always here. who knows i can be a great source of comfort and be a shoulder you can lean on?”_

  
  


_…._

  
  


the memory flashed in a short period of time when serim saw woobin. that was the first time he had seen him cry and he even thought it was the last time as he didn’t cry when his father had passed away.

but he’s wrong.

he’s seeing woobin cry again on the spot, except the reason is different. very different to be exact.

how ironic it is for him to say those words before when he can’t even bring himself to go near woobin.

serim looks at him again, his heart aching with the sight of a fragile woobin, someone he didn’t expect he would ever see.

he thought he had already moved on. he thought he was ready to go on with his life.

but why does it still hurt him?

“let’s go home, jungmo.” woobin smiles, almost bitterly as the words his past lover had just said were still lingering inside of his ears.

  
  
  
  


_////_

  
  


the ride home was awfully quiet. even until when they arrived home, neither of them spoke even once. jungmo figured he’d give the 30 minutes ride home to woobin so he could have time to calm down after what had happened earlier that day.

he knew woobin heard what serim said and it’s far from what jungmo wanted to have occurred. he brought woobin there to heal his existing wounds and not to dig deeper and make the wounds bigger. to his disappointment, he had not gotten what he wanted and instead, he had hurt who he wanted to be happy.

so they’re sitting on the sofa in the living room, jungmo’s head spinning as he tries to calm his conflicting heart. he blames everything on himself. besides, it wouldn’t have happened if he didn’t bring woobin there.

“woobin.. listen.. back there i.. i’m really sorry. i should’ve asked for your permission atleast and-”

“it’s okay, jungmo. thank you for bringing me there.”

jungmo looks at woobin with confusion abundant in his eyes. 

  
  


he continues, “i wanted to hear him again and to be honest, if you ask me if i could turn back time and decide to come or not even if i knew where you were taking me to, i would still come.”

“woobin..” jungmo wanted to hold woobin’s shaking hand yet he stopped midway, pulling himself back once again.

“i just hate myself for keeping my hopes just a bit high. the reality check that had happened.. was probably meant for me to hear.”

“no, woobin listen to me. he said that out of rage without thinking about how you are and what you are doing-”

“that’s the point, jungmo. he doesn’t care about how i am nor what i am doing with life.”

jungmo runs his hand through his locks as he breathes in, “woob, he didn’t know your situation.”

woobin looks down as he holds his own hand, massaging them slowly as it felt numb. 

“jungmo.. i’m tired of being pitied. i’m tired of being a burden. look at him, he’s doing well. heck he’s doing the best right now and i don’t want to be in his way.”

  
  


jungmo grew silent. his tears wouldn’t stop falling especially after hearing what woobin said. 

_all he wants is for him to be happy, why is it so difficult to have?_

“i don’t even know why you’re doing this, jungmo. all i ever showed you was coldness. aren’t you sick of me?”

as if his whole life was on the line, jungmo grabbed woobin’s cold and quivering hands. he envelopes them with his warmth as his tears fell on them. woobin’s eyes grew big when he felt the wetness on his hands.

“don’t ever say that. don’t say that, woobin.. oh god.. even if everyone had turned their backs on you, i would be still here supporting you until my very last breath.” he says, as he holds his hands tighter, with woobin just listening to his words, still oblivious of what the other truly meant.

  
  


_…._

jungmo’s in his car outside of the apartment. he needed time for himself and for woobin so he decided to step out for a while. millions of thoughts ran through his mind and this was interrupted by a buzz on his phone.

he reads every single one of the words displayed on his screen. 

  
  


_from: serim_

_jungmo? is this still your number?_

_if so, can we meet?_

  
  


jungmo sighs as he reads it over and over again. his hands are shaking as he is in dilemma. still, he did what he’s supposed to do. 

  
  


_to: serim_

_yes, this is me. sure, when are you available?_

  
  
  


_////_

  
  


jungmo.. feels restless. he’s been walking back and forth in the living room, as if something’s bothering his mind. well, there really is.

  
  


_…._

_“can i meet him?” serim raises his head from staring at the cup of coffee above the table. jungmo looks back at him intently as if he has expected this to happen._

_“why?” jungmo asks back even if the response in the back of his head is different._

_serim looks outside, through the clear glass he sees people busily walking while holding their umbrellas as it is raining. there he sees his reflection, and he sees it himself how he’s back to his old self._

_“i.. want to talk to him, jungmo. as much as i want- we want to deny it, there have been so many questions left unanswered. wounds left unmended. back then, what i said that day.. i didn’t mean any of those. i spoke out of rage without thinking twice of what i have also done in the past.”_

_“i know.” serim looks back at him and jungmo smiles, as he sits properly, placing both of his hands clasped together above the table._

_he bites his bottom lip as he hesitates to say whatever he’s about to say._

_“that just means you still love him, right? you loved him and still love him.”_

_serim breathes in as he closes his eyes._

_“what can i do? i.. i can’t change what i did before.. i wouldn’t even dare to imagine what he had gone through when all i had been doing was enjoying my life.. alone..”_

_it was silent. jungmo just looks at serim and he knows it, even just by the look of his eyes - he’s genuine._

_“about you meeting him.. how are you going to guarantee that you’re not going to hurt him?”_

_serim shots his head up, his mouth shaking as he attempts to put his millions of thoughts into words._

_“i won’t. i promise.”_

_jungmo chuckles which made serim taken aback._

_“this is your last shot, serim. i’m doing this for his sake. i’m putting away my selfish thoughts and desires for him and i swear if you’re going to hurt him again, i will not back out.”_

  
  


_…._

  
  


that’s why he’s acting like this at the moment. they both agreed not to tell woobin about their plan and that he’s coming in their apartment so woobin can’t get away with it.

it sounds too cruel but it’s the only effective solution they could think of.

  
  


“jungmo..” woobin’s voice echoed in the whole room. jungmo snaps out from his thoughts as he halts in his steps, facing woobin who’s sitting quite peacefully on the sofa seat.

he continues, “is something wrong?”

jungmo almost quickly shakes his head, not realizing he could only see it himself. 

“no, nothing is.”

“jungmo, i’m blind but that doesn’t mean my other senses are gone.”

a knock was heard from the door which disrupted their ongoing converse of words. jungmo sighs as he walks towards the door, behind is someone who he had been expecting since earlier this day.

“who’s that?”

“i’m so sorry, woob.”

he opens the door, revealing serim. woobin’s eyebrows had already furrowed with jungmo’s last resort but moreover when he smelled the very familiar scent that had embraced the entire room. that smell was so familiar that it made his steady heartbeat rapidly increase, with it clenching, bringing back the unwanted memories he always wanted to erase.

“w-what are you doing here?”

serim needed not to speak for woobin to know it was him who’s their guest. he wanted to talk to jungmo about this but he wanted to push it for later as it is in a different subject as to what is bound to happen.

“ruby..”

that nickname. it has been a long while since woobin had heard of it. 

“can we talk? just for a while? please?” 

woobin clenches his fists as he crumples the covers of the sofa seat. he breathes in, hating yet still confused about what his feelings truly are as he smells the very familiar scent.

“what is it? hurry up, i don’t have time.”

_“exactly! you never had time for me!”_

a sudden voice whispered yet was so loud, rang inside of both of their ears. it’s just like deja vu, the exact painful line escaped once again from woobin’s mouth which was the cause of their separation.

of course woobin knew how those words had made them like this and it’s just a matter of fact that he had said it once again, in hopes for serim to get reminded of the past, and maybe leave him once again. but this time, permanently.

he thinks that temporary pain for a permanent fix is better than anything else.

what woobin had initially planned came true in serim’s mind. a wave of unwanted memories has flashed right before his eyes when woobin said those words. but contrary to what the other had expected, serim had his mind fixed. 

he had his mind fixed into not doing the same exact thing he did in the past.

and that was leaving the person he loved the most.

  
  


jungmo had left the scene quietly, giving them the privacy they needed. 

“woobin, i’m retiring.”

“what?” 

  
  


serim walks towards woobin as he sits right before him, leveling himself with the other.

“i’m quitting playing the violin, for good.”

“what are you saying? why would you do that? that’s the thing you love the most in this world.” woobin hastily replies, almost raging as he lets serim’s words ring inside of his ears.

“i’ve been thinking about this for weeks now and i know it really sounds crazy but the thing is.. woobin... i want us to try again. and i’m quitting the thing i love the most because it isn’t actually what i love the most. woobin, it’s you-” serim says just before he was cut off by woobin as he stares at the beautiful brown orbs which are threatening to water.

“stop. don’t continue. you're not in your right state of mind right now, serim.”

“if i’m not in my right state right now then i might as well be crazy my whole life.”

it was silent and just serim’s heavy breathing was enveloping the whole room.

he continues, "you’ve let go your passion unwillingly because of me. because of us and i want to let go of mine in hopes to bring us both back when we were still happy. when we were still nothing, just plain freaks in this world. when we both loved each other.”

serim attempts to hold woobin’s hands but the latter slaps it away immediately.

“you’ve loved the violin even before you loved me. let me do the regretting myself just.. don’t do things you are bound to regret, serim. i’ll do the regretting for us both. live your life like how you are doing right now.”

“how can you expect me to live my life, successful and in the eyes of the public while the person i have left behind is.. like this? woobin, remember what i said back then? about me being the shoulder you can lean on when life is too much to handle on your own? let me do it once again.”

he finally holds the other’s hand as he gives warmth to them. a tear escapes his eyes as he observes the other’s face.

_he’s still beautiful as ever._

“we were childish but i’m more than willing to let go of everything just for us to be fixed again. ruby, please let me fix this again.”

woobin couldn’t contain it anymore as he looked down, his voice breaking into soft sobs. he missed this. he missed serim’s warmth and comfort. those of which he had taken granted before.

no matter how much he had tried to utter words from his mouth, he couldn’t as he got choked up with his emotions. he feels a warm embrace surrounding him as he just lets his body sink in the arms of serim, swallowing his muffled sobs.

“i miss you ruby, i really do.”

  
  


_////_

  
  


“where’s jungmo?” woobin asks as he sits by the same sofa seat after washing himself up. serim walks towards him as he courageously takes a seat, not far yet not too close from him. 

“he went home. he said he’d stay out for the night..” knowing what serim meant, woobin nods as he gives assurance to the other that he had understood him.

serim misses this. he misses it when they are just alone. even when it’s quiet and their breaths were only the faint source of sound surrounding the whole room, he would never be more satisfied. 

he looks at woobin as he once again studies him. it’s still the same. _his same ruby._

“stop staring.” 

“i don’t want to.” 

woobin’s face grew red. fortunately serim couldn’t see it. woobin clicks his tongue as he shots a glare, serim just responds with a laugh.

“you’re still the same, ruby.”

“hmm?” 

woobin feels a warmth on his cheek, figuring out it’s serim’s hand. deep inside of him wanted to swat his hand away but his hands couldn’t move as he grabs onto the pillow he’s been holding on tighter.

“you’re still so pretty.”

“s-stop saying that..” he says as he finally moves his face away, the other instinctively removing his hand against it.

serim sighs as he smiles, continuing to look at woobin. so dearly, so gently.

“i’m so sorry for being the weaker one.. i.. shouldn’t have given up. this wouldn’t have happened if i-”

“it’s not your fault. i shouldn’t have been childish.” woobin cuts him off.

serim smiles, “i think we should save these apologies for later. you need to take a rest. let me guide you to your room.”

just when woobin was about to refuse, he feels a grasp on his arm, assisting him on standing up. he’s taken aback but he still lets the other guide him, in the hands of the person he had loved the most. _he still loves the most._

serim lets woobin sit down on his bed and he does the same. “do you have anything you want to do tomorrow? anything you want to eat? tell me, woobin and i’ll do anything.”

woobin looks down as he shakes his head. serim nods to himself as he pats woobin’s back, “okay, take a rest for now. good night, ruby.”

serim stands up as he approaches the door. “wait.” 

he halts as he turns around to woobin, “what is it?”

hesitation was evident in woobin’s face before he had spat out what he wanted to say.

“let’s go on a trip. just like what you wanted back then.”

serim slowly smiles as he nods, almost stopping his eyes from blinking, keeping the tears inside of his orbs. 

“sure, let’s do that.” 

“also, serim..”

“hmm?”

“don’t quit playing the violin, please?”

serim looks at woobin for a few more seconds before he replies, “okay. i won’t. i promise.”

  
  


….

  
  


“what do you mean the donor refused again? how many times has it been?”

_“i’m sorry mr. koo but we cannot persuade the parents of the patient furthermore. we’ll just call you again if we find another one.”_

jungmo ends the call furiously as a series of sighs escaped from his mouth. he runs his hands through his hair as he leans his head on the steering wheel. 

he closed his eyes and the slight sight of the darkness’ loneliness made him shudder that he could not even imagine how it must’ve been hard for woobin.

all he had ever wanted was for woobin to be happy and to finally see again.

atleast he had already started the former as he finally found serim. now all he needs to do is to let serim do his part as he will do his own, and that is to make woobin see the light of the day again.

it’s difficult as it has been a long time since the failure of finding donors but his mind was fixated with the result.

“it will be worth it, jungmo. let’s be patient.”

of course, everything is worth it if it’s with woobin. he had woken him up to things that he had never known. to the things he thought he would never think existed in him.

he definitely is worth it.

  
  


////

  
  


“I’m sorry i know this isn’t much but i guess i tried?”

woobin smiles for a second as he smells the fragrance coming from what seems to be serim’s food. serim sees the smile that formed slowly in woobin’s lips. he sighs in relief when he observes woobin who’s seemingly enjoying the food he had cooked.

“how is it?” serim asks with high expectations.

“kinda salty but it’s fine. thank you for cooking. i didn’t know you had it in you.”

serim removes his apron as he finally takes a seat in front of woobin. the latter somewhat felt his presence in front of him and so he continued to speak.

“how about you, aren’t you eating?”

“i’m fine. i am already full just by-”

“don’t continue it. i know what cheesy line you’re going to say.” 

serim chuckles which the other responds with a smile. 

“you still have it in you. your cheesy lines and dramatic talks.”

serim places his elbows on the table as he uses his arms for support, putting his chin on both of his hands. 

“you still have it in you too. you hated every single one of those.” serim replies with a small chuckle which woobin responds with a frown.

“who said i did? i just didn’t know how to respond..”

“so.. you love it?”

woobin pauses for a while before answering, “i didn’t say that too.”

“alright alright i should clean this up now so we can leave early.”

serim stands up as he picks up woobin’s empty plate and cup. he carries those to the sink as he starts doing the dishes.

“where are we going?”

serim turns his back before answering, “jeju. i remember you saying you want to go there back when were in high school.”

woobin furrows his eyebrows, “highschool? you still remember that?”

“yes, every single one of that time.”

  
  


////

  
  


“ruby-ah, where do you want to go exactly? we can go there right away if you tell me.” serim says after fastening woobin’s seatbelt. they have arrived from the airport and now they are inside of a rental car. serim looks intently at woobin who is in deep thoughts.

“um.. this is kinda embarrassing but i heard there’s this museum where there are a lot of teddy bears? i don’t know i have been always fond of bears and i wanted to go there specifically ever since when i was in high school. you know what? you can decide instead i’m just being childish again.” woobin replies so fast that serim almost couldn’t catch it.

there was a short silence before serim bursts into a laugh, “don’t be embarrassed, woob. that’s actually one of the places in my list and i think it’s a good place to start off.”

serim replies but woobin still has his frown plastered on his face. he ruffles woobin’s hair, earning a glare from the latter.

“it’s okay it’s okay, don’t be embarrassed. let’s go?” serim says as he straightens up his seat. he sneezes halfway which woobin got startled with. it’s probably because of the sudden change of weather in their location compared to where they were but woobin couldn’t help but to be concerned.

“you good? are you feeling sick?” woobin says as he instinctively locates serim’s face with his hand, touching his forehead afterwards feeling his temperature.

instead of replying, serim just stares at woobin. it has been a long time since woobin initiated skinship with him. a very long time to the point that he couldn’t even recall the last time. woobin realizes it when serim doesn't answer and so he quickly removes his touch from the other’s face but serim’s hands were faster to snatch it as he places it back, but on his cheek.

“your bracelet.. you’re still wearing it..” serim says as he looks at woobin’s wrist where the other half of his own silver half moon bracelet is dangling. woobin’s eyes grew after the realization had struck him.

“yeah.. i hope you’re also wearing yours.. but don’t get me wrong though.. if you’re not wearing it then it’s totally fine.”

serim smiles as he places woobin’s hand back on the owner’s lap.

“of course i still do. i haven’t removed it since you gave it to me back then. shall we go now?”

woobin nods as he holds his own hand.

“by the way, ruby..”

“hmm?”

“don’t touch other people’s faces like that, hmm? do it with me only.”

  
  


////

  
  


it has been a long day and now that night time has finally come, they are now in their hotel room taking a rest from the tiring day. woobin’s sitting by the window as he’s snacking on a take away they bought on the way there while serim’s using his phone, sitting on the bed side as he plans for tomorrow.

“woob, did you enjoy today?”

serim turns to woobin, the latter’s side profile is lit up with the warm light of the lampshade. he nods.

“i did. it’s quite a pity that i wasn’t able to see it with my own eyes but it’s okay.”

serim couldn’t respond for a few seconds so woobin laughs, trying to save the mood, “oh i’m sorry i totally ruined the mood.”

“don’t say that.” serim says as he continues to look at woobin. the latter smiles in response as he continues to stare at the non existence.

serim stands up and he walks towards woobin. he places his hand over his shoulder before speaking.

“better go to sleep now, woob. let’s go somewhere very early tomorrow.”

woobin’s eyebrows moved in curiosity. “where?” he asks.

“you’ll know it tomorrow.”

  
  


….

_“how’s woobin?”_ jungmo didn’t waste any second on asking the other’s whereabouts.

“he’s asleep now.” serim replies with assurance in his tone. he hears a sigh from the other line.

_“okay.. make sure he’s having fun there hmm?”_

serim responds quickly, “yeah, that’s the whole point of me bringing him here. don’t worry. by the way, how’s the donor?”

_“still no luck. their parents refused last night so i’m still finding another one.”_

“ah.. i see. alright, i’m ending this call now. goodbye.” 

_“okay, bye. say hi to woobin for me tomorrow.”_

serim smiles before he ends the call. he’s really thankful for jungmo for taking care of woobin for the years he had not been there. it’s as if he’s almost the substitute of him. he probably really is.

so serim would be lying if he’ll say he doesn’t feel restless. but one thing’s for sure he still loves woobin, it has never changed or would ever change.

  
  


////

  
  
  


“warm enough?” serim asks as he places a blanket over woobin’s shoulder as he sits down next to him over a different blanket placed on the ground. woobin nods in response as he snuggles in the blanket.

“where are we though?” he asks, breathing in the salty breeze which seemingly is from the sea. he could smell it and even hear the light crashing of waves from it.

“i’ve searched last night where the most beautiful place is where we can see the sunrise and i happened to see this.” serim replies as he rubs his hands together, fighting the coldness away from his body.

“let’s share this blanket, you seem cold too.” woobin offers which serim declines.

“it’s fine.”

woobin nods as he grabs a handful of sand next to the edge of the blanket.

“i wish i could see it too, you know..”

serim looks back at woobin, admiring his face which is lightly covered by his bangs swinging with the wind. he smiles as he holds the other’s hand, the owner seemingly startled by his action.

“don’t worry, it hasn’t risen up yet.”

“well.. either way i still wouldn’t be able to see it.” woobin replies with a sad tone which serim notices right away. he looks at the sky in front of them and afterwards takes a look at the lad beside him before he lets go of his hand.

woobin right away feels the emptiness when serim isn’t holding his hand anymore. he feels serim shift from his seat which he guesses he had stood up from.

“hey, where are you going?” he asks which the other didn’t respond to.

serim dusts off the sand on his pants as he looks at the clueless woobin. he smiles before he grabs the violin case by his side, taking out the instrument from it.

“i’ll be your eyes, woobin. you might not be able to see this grandiose view, but i hope you’ll feel how beautiful it is with this. i hope it reaches you.”

  
  


there he goes, playing the petite instrument swiftly as he alternately stares at the sunset and back at woobin whose eyes are big from shock.

  
  


_////_

  
  


_serim had just finished reading the novel he’s been reading for 3 days. he sighs as he closes the book, still bitter over the very unsatisfying ending. if there’s one thing he hates the most in this world then that is a cliffhanger. he mentally slaps himself for choosing this novel instead of what woobin had suggested before._

_he sits up from lying down as he puts the book on the table._

_“woobin, i totally regret reading this instead of what you’ve suggested. the ending sucks and the whole plot is so substandard. i swear i could write it better even if i can’t write for my life-”_

_he turns around to woobin’s seat and finds the latter asleep, holding his book by his chest. serim had never seen him in this peaceful state before. the scene of the sleeping woobin makes his heart flutter and he doesn’t even know why he’s feeling like that. he felt like the usual bossy and blunt woobin had turned into a soft and calm person now._

_he turns to the opposite side and sees his violin and he decides to play one of his favorite lullabies which his father used to play for him before._

_he places his violin down afterwards and immediately goes to the peacefully sleeping figure. he smiles as he strokes his hair, placing them away from poking his eyelids. he hears him snore lightly and so he chuckles quietly._

_“i have never seen you like this.” he tilts his head, getting a better angle of the prettiest view he had ever seen._

_“you’re really pretty, woobin.”_

  
  


_////_

  
  


ever since that day, serim’s lullabies have always been a requirement when woobin needs to sleep. as if he had been spoiled by the other. well, serim didn’t mind it. moreover, he liked it better when woobin listened to it.

he opens his eyes after getting too absorbed with the feeling. he really wanted to convey the feeling to woobin through his music. he knows woobin knows him the most. from the way he talks to the way he acts. 

  
  


he stops when he sees woobin sob. he places his violin back inside of its case before rushing towards woobin. he holds both of his hands as he looks at him with eyes of worry. 

he then realizes he was wrong about cliffhangers being the thing he hates the most in this world.

because seeing the person he loves the most crying hurts more than anyone could’ve ever imagined.

“are you okay, ruby? tell me what’s wrong, hmm?”

he gently strokes his face as he slowly wipes his tears away. 

“serim.. i’m scared..”

serim listened intently while he intertwined his fingers with woobin. 

with a shaking voice, woobin continues. 

“i’m scared of all of these. i.. i don’t know what’s happening around me.. i don’t know if people beside me are sick of me.. i don’t know what to do. i feel restless. i feel agitated. the darkness scares me the most..”

he breaks down into loud sobs as serim envelopes him into a hug, the blanket seemingly losing its purpose as the other’s body gives him more warmth.

“i’m sorry it had to happen to you, ruby. i’m sorry this had to happen to you, to us. if i could switch places with you, i would most willingly do.” he replies as he tugs on woobin’s sweater, pulling him closer.

“please don’t leave me..”

serim lets go of woobin from his embrace as he grabs both of his shoulders.

“i already did it before and i know it’s the biggest mistake i have ever made. i won’t do it again, ruby. i’m not leaving you again.”

  
  


he looks once again at woobin, stroking his face as his own tear falls from his eye. that's the exact moment he felt like doing something. doing the thing he has been wanting to do even years ago.

  
  


and so he pulls him closer as his lips made contact with the other’s. woobin was shocked but he closes his eyes, as the same darkness enveloped but this time, he knows he isn’t alone. he moves his lips as his tears fall from his eyes. serim didn’t waste any second to encircle his arms around woobin’s waist as he further deepens the kiss.

even though only one of them could see the beautiful sunrise by the sea, both of them felt how much more beautiful their feelings are, which could beat every existing view there is.

  
  


_////_

  
  


time had flown faster than they thought. it has already been a week since they’ve been in jeju and it’s now the time for them to pack their bags and go home. they are currently in the airport, waiting for their flight to be called. serim feels his phone vibrate and so he excuses himself to woobin, as he walks away but still keeps an eye on the other.

  
  


“yes, jungmo what’s wrong?”

_“what time’s your flight again.”_

serim looks at his watch before he answers, “around an hour from now.” 

he hears a sigh from the other side, _“oh that’s good. so you’ll arrive here around 8 pm?”_

“yeah around that. why though?” serim asks as he furrows his eyebrows.

_“woobin has a check-up today and i was wondering if he can still make it by time. luckily his appointment can be until 10 pm max.”_

“oh, alright. i’ll just take him there once we arrive.”

_“i’ll go too.”_

“you don’t really need too..” serim hesitantly says.

_“i know but.. i feel like going. i don’t know, maybe i just want to see him.”_

serim nods. of course, he had missed woobin. it has been a week since he had last seen him so it’s understandable especially when he’s the one who has always been by his side for years.

“okay. i’ll end this call now.”

_“alright, please take care of him for me, okay?”_

serim ends the call and he stares at his phone. he sighs before putting it inside of his pocket. he looks at his side as he sees woobin sitting calmly on one of the seats. 

“oh, i really will take care of him.”

  
  
  


_////_

  
  


the ride home was undeniably quiet. both of them were tired, a bit jet lag from the flight. serim looks at his side and sees woobin sleeping with his mouth slightly opening. he laughs with the cute sight. he adjusts the ac lower when he sees woobin slightly shiver from the cold.

if he was given the chance to just stare at him for the rest of the night while he’s asleep, he would. just the sight of the soft and warm woobin makes his heart flutter in a lot of ways. 

it’s like they’re back to high school, the very exact moment serim had laid his eyes on the flustered woobin who had watched him play the violin by the window.

but of course fate had to be in their ways. 

it was raining hard and the streets were barely visible. serim’s headache wasn’t helping either.

how ironic it was that after they have mended both of their opened scars, everything had to re open once again.

darkness fell into both of them after a split second. serim couldn’t breathe properly and his eyes were blurry when he attempted to open them. he felt a throbbing pain on his head as the metallic smell of blood took over his olfactory system. 

he tries his best to look at his side, collecting all of his remaining strength to take a look at the man beside him. as if he doesn’t feel any physical pain right now, all he had felt at that moment was his heart aching when he saw woobin unconsciously lying on the car seat, blood dripping from his forehead and shoulders.

serim reaches for his hand as he uses the only strength remaining inside of him to hold woobin’s hand. he holds it as tight as he can and he could see woobin’s left eye drop a tear, trailing on his cheeks.

“r-ruby-ah.. i’m s-so sorry…”

  
  
  


_////_

  
  


_The country’s well known Violin Prodigy Park Serim has been found in_

_a car accident with the former Musical Actor Seo Woobin this night_

_around 8:00. Based on the initial investigation, the roads were_

_particularly slippery as it was a rainy day. Their vehicle was stated_

_to have crashed onto another one._

  
  


_No further details have been released._

  
  
  


_////_

  
  
  


_“hey, woobin..” serim says as he halts on his steps. woobin who’s already a few steps ahead, turns his back to look at serim. he tilts his head in curiosity as he waits for the other to continue._

_serim scratches his head before blurting out what he had in mind._

_“i.. i like you, woobin.”_

_woobin’s eyes grew big as he tries to laugh it off, “that’s a good joke, serim. you almost had me there.”_

_serim furrows his eyebrows as he walks towards woobin, giving him a stern look._

_“who said i was joking? i like you a lot. i really do. i don’t know when this started but i just really had the feeling that i should say it now.”_

_woobin was silent as he kept on avoiding eye contact. he cleared his throat before responding._

_“who set you up to this?”_

_serim looked offended as he slightly slaps woobin’s shoulder, “no one did, stupid. i won’t go around joking about something serious like this.”_

_they were both silent as woobin couldn't answer him back. serim realizes this and so he taps his shoulder again._

_“no need to respond immediately, hmm? i’m sorry for suddenly being like this. it’s better for us to forget about this because i don’t want to risk our friendship just like this-”_

_serim got cut off when he felt a hand holding his, his eyes trailing to his hand being held by woobin._

_“who told you i want to forget about this?”_

_serim blinks for a few times as he tries to take in what just happened. woobin laughs as he sways their hands together._

_“let’s go?” woobin says in a playful manner. serim nodded slowly as a smile grew on his face._

_that’s how everything had started. it was once a very innocent love as they were both each other’s first love. it was a rough road in the process but what’s important was the promise they’ve been holding onto since that day._

_‘no leaving the other one behind as it’s only us against this world.’_

  
  


_////_

  
  


his head was throbbing in pain and he couldn’t move his body from his position. his limbs were betraying him every second but luckily he’s sitting with the support of his bed. he wanted to touch the unknown object wrapped around his head and eyes. 

“are you ready?” 

woobin didn’t know whose voice that was but he still nods even when he’s too confused about everything.

the doctors slowly unwrapped the bondage around his eyes and head, revealing woobin’s confused face. he blinks. blinked again as he saw light. he couldn’t believe it. he looks around and he sees machines he didn’t know about and people he also didn’t know.

“can you see this, mr. seo?” the doctor asks which woobin slightly nods at.

he couldn’t believe it. he couldn’t believe he could finally see.

the doctor nods as he checks his pulse and runs simple tests on him on the sight. he runs through his papers as he looks at the nurse on his side, “he’s okay for now but he needs to stay here for a while for rehabilitation. check on him once in a while.”

the nurse nods and afterwards, the doctor leaves the room.

woobin tries to remember everything. from what happened before until to how he’s here but he couldn’t.

“excuse me, miss. do you know why i’m here?”

the nurse nods slowly before speaking, “yes sir you’ve been into a car accident three days ago.”

_a car accident.. a car accident.._

his eyes grew big with his agitation inside of his heart growing too. 

“serim... serim where is he? where’s serim?” he asks immediately when he remembers him being with serim in a car before all the recollection of memories from that day has gotten erased.

the nurse thinks for a while before she looks back at the other, “park serim?”

woobin nods as his tears fell from his eyes.

_this couldn’t be why i can see now, right?_

_this isn’t happening, right?_

“he’s in the ICU under monitoring because the accident affected him worse. but his condition isn’t critical so the possibility of him waking up is high. don’t worry, sir.”

woobin sighs as he calms down. he immediately wipes his tears as he breathes out a breath of relief.

“he’s fine.. i’m glad he’s fine.. serim.. i thought i..”

he paused, trying to let the pieces fall into their places. 

“how.. how can i see now?”

he looks back at the nurse and senses the hesitation in her face.

“please? tell me?”

the nurse looks back at him with pitiful eyes. she then responds.

“the car you’ve crashed with.. the patient died and the parents decided to make their son your donor when they heard you were in need.”

woobin nods slowly as he feels sorry yet thankful. he asks his final question, “what’s their name?”

“koo jungmo. the owner of your eyes was named koo jungmo and his parents told us to tell you to take care of them for his sake.”

  
  
  


//5 years after//

  
  


the feeling was familiar and it was undeniably what woobin had missed after not stepping on the stage for a long time. the song he’s singing is quite close to his heart. from its lyrics to the way it should be portrayed, he wanted to do his best to relay to the audience what he wants to reach them.

exactly when the song ends, he doesn’t bow immediately but instead he looks above as the blinding lights are hurting his eyes, furthermore triggering the tears from falling.

the crowd stood up and gave him and the cast a big round of applause. there were a series of cheers and whistles from here to there but woobin didn’t move from his position.

_“i hope it reached you..”_

his eyes had betrayed him as he kept on looking above. he looked down to wipe his tears and afterwards gave a look at the audience. their faces were visible from his point of view and he could see some of them in their emotions too, just like him.

he smiles as he spreads his arms wide as he bows, earning louder claps from the audience.

he’s more than joyous that people had liked his performance, moreover the message he wanted to relay had reached to them. he loves performing the most and making people happy with what he’s able to show is more than enough for him.

he looks at the audience once again and there he spots someone who he hasn’t seen for a long time.

he’s still the same.

the same sparkly eyes he used to look at.

the same soft facial expression whenever he stares at him.

the same exact eyes who made him feel things before.

  
  


there they are, just staring at each other from afar. both didn’t realize there were tears along with the fast pace of their hearts.

when life’s too difficult, it’s better to have someone who you can lean on. 

but that doesn’t mean you have to keep on leaning if they’re the wrong person.

they had to let go of each other as their relationship had nothing good to give them. it gave them happiness but those were all covered up with the pain they had to experience afterwards.

they have been holding onto each other for a long time but the time had to come where they should let go already. there is nothing they could do for each other but that, as it was the only way they could be free and be genuinely happy on their own.

it’s as if they were really against the world and it just happened they had to give up.

seeing each other after a lot of years is surely a heartbreaking situation they had to encounter. but one thing’s for sure when serim had witnessed woobin enjoying himself on the stage, performing again;

_he was beautiful and he still is beautiful._

//end//

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading!! find me on twt @starshipz ><


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